I never really paid attention to my assignments when I work as I believe that any patient that comes and admitted to the hospital needs necessary medical care. But the past few weeks, I noticed that they always include young, thirty to forty something year old patient that share one commonality- substance abuse. I have them in the past too, but I never have that precise account in the seriousness of their problems until I have this patient in my assignment three days ago.
For a brief background, she’s thirty-eight years old, mother of two. She is also homeless and did not relate her working status; but I assume she’s jobless too based on how she narrated her typical day. The first day I have her as a patient she was mostly asleep; only opens her eyes when she’s due for her supplemental medications. The second day she was more awake; able to converse and her symptoms are more evident-she was withdrawing. While on rounds with one of our doctors, I was dumbfounded by the information she narrated to us. She is a long time Heroin user and shoots three to six times a day. The day she brought herself to the emergency department, she dosed herself three times. I was speechless the entire time she unfolded her story. When the doctor told her his plan of action and left the room, I stayed. She was crying and uttering to herself that she needs to stop this, but doesn’t know how. I remained quiet and patted her shoulder. When I have no appropriate advice to give, I keep my silence; and sometimes silence is just the best piece of advice. I was a bit overwhelmed when I walked out of the room and can only imagine what she’s going through; the hardship and the life struggles she is on.
I grew up in another country- a third world country. My life struggle was quite different from my patient’s. Mine was a basic life struggle. But I have my beacon of hope. Seeing and experiencing poverty first hand aspired me to become better as I grow up. I remember as a kid, I used to answer, “I wanted to be a doctor” when asked of the question, “What I would like to become when I grow up?” But as I get older, that became a distant reality. But I never gave up on my dreams. Nursing is the closest I become to a doctor. I heal people too, only in a different way, and I am proud of it.
When I went back to my patient’s room, she was calmer. I also caught her staring at the window. This was my cue to share my story and my life struggles. I told her that we all have crosses of different weights to carry and our life experiences maybe different but one thing she should look is the promise of hope that it can change for the better. I suggested to search for her inner self… her younger self that is full of hopes and dreams.
On my final round before the change of shift, she thanked me. I am not sure how determine she wants to change her life when she gets discharge and that is her own call. But I felt the sincerity in her. And until someone thanked you from the bottom of her heart, you’ll never know how much you touched her life.